If you cannot make your site interesting in 30 seconds, you probably cannot do it also in a negotiation.
I'm sure, you were asked at many events, personal meetings or small talks "..and what about XY County?" or "...and what should we know about Stardust Business Park?". And I'm also sure: your answer mostly hit the bullshit-meter of your prospect.
Your organization probably has a fancy mission statement, which includes beautiful ideas: developing state of the art facilities, targeting sexy industries, for the benefit of local community (and mankind, maybe), building on the local genius-making education etc. You maybe have slogans, too. It could motivate your staff and make a framework for together thinking, but absolutely useless when you try to promote your facility/location. When its about sales, you need an elevator speech: a very short summary of your value proposition. Here are some simple rules how to do it:
#1 Talk about client's results not about your bricks
It's not easy to talk about the clients when you are asked to talk about your location, but this is the largest secret of sales. Nobody is interested about your square feets, your motorway connections, your local education or incentive programmes etc. Your prospects are interested in their own benefits: "what is it for me?" So try to convert your facility's/location's features to the benefits of your prospects:
"We develop state-of-the-art offices for shared services industry in a green, high-tech environment which involves..." - not won.
"We provide 30% costs savings for SSCs developing off-city offices in a low-cost location" - much better.
#2 Keep it short and simple
Simple things work. Your elevator speech should be easy-to-understand, without industry jargon - and first of all: short. Every short meeting with your prospect is a sales situation, and you have no hours to sell your facilities or to promote your investment destination. Actually, you have no minutes. You have some seconds indeed. So your elevator speech has to be 1-2 sentences maximum.
#3 Clearly identify your target industries
I hope you have some target industries. Now the question is how to involve these industries into your elevator speech 1) talking about results and 2) keep it short and simple. A long industry listing in your elevator speech is not a winning solution, try to shorten it. And are you providing real, numeric results (benefits) for all your target indutsries? Or you just listed some sexy industries at your industry targeting meeting?
Use your elevator speech also on your website, printed materials, radio/TV spots etc. The benefit-oriented, short elevator speech works much better than a hyping marketing speech.
If you need more, general background information about elevator speech developing, watch this short video: